I’ve mentioned this before – I get annoyed when I feel people don’t listen to each other properly, and I find it hurtful when it happens to me – when I feel someone has not really heard what I said, not really understood my point.
How do I judge whether they have heard and understood? I judge by what they say in reply.
Note to self: sometimes it’s not that they didn’t get what I was saying, it’s that I don’t understand their reply properly.
It may be that the terms they used don’t work for me in the way they intended, it may be that I missed a connection which they didn’t spell out because to them it’s obvious – there are all sorts of barriers in communication which can cause misunderstanding. So it’s useful to ask, to try and clarify what the other person meant. And if I don’t get wound up about it and remain calm, I can ask calmly and politely and then the other person won’t need to get wound up either.